viernes, febrero 16, 2007


Today I'm happy. Happy but exhausted. I can't go into details, but I'll just say that I've got done almost 8,000 words. Today it seems possible, it seems like I'll survive my first experience of this kind... and I'm even enjoying it.
I've been working by myself for a long time, but I'm undertaking this project with N. and I'm quite pleased. I'm liking the fact that I have a partner in war to share both desperate and inspired moments. He is truly an angel, I don't know what I'd be doing without him. Without his internetic guidance I'd be soo lost, trying to find my way. I don't know if I'd adapt well to working with people all the time, but I could try.
What I will never ever adapt to is to have a schedule, a fixed timetable... yes, imagine how seriously I'm taking this! I have even set a day schedule, and I'm following it!! With this workload I was afraid I would die halfway through. The worst thing wouldn't be dying, it'd be doing it halfway through the project (!!!). I realized that quite a long time ago; I don't like leaving people stuck. If the work was for me it'd be different, but leaving people stuck... nooo! It's strange how mind reacts. Now that I'm stressed out, I'm having a little obsessive-compulsive episodes. It's not bad at all, but I guess repeating to perfection certain tasks help me concentrate and it relaxes me at the same time... I remember the girl that followed the wood streaks till her fingers bled.
It's funny. Just now, when I'm writing this, at 1:20 in the morning of any given Thursday, I think of all those nights at College, when I was studying, translating or writing papers and I thought what would it be when everything ended, when I started working and everything was different. Things haven't changed much in that sense. I'm still studying, translating, working, it's still the early hours, and what was a comforting feeling of what would come before, now it's the nice feeling of a well-done work, of mission accomplished.
I like my life, I'm happy. I like making some sacrifices like these so I can take that hard-earned money and go away and have fun without thinking twice about it.
And lately, I can't stop thinking about how long I am going to manage to stay in the jacuzzi the day I'm done with this. I'll keep you posted.

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