NaBloPoMo día 8 - Compromise, commitment

Warning: this post may look like an excuse but it's not. It is just a comment on the current state of things.

It is always the same. When I'm busiest it's when I feel most creative. I come up with a thousand projects, plots for stories, things to make, places to go to, pictures to take... but I have to set priorities. First there's what I must do, then what I like to do. I visualize how my day or my week is going to go and I always seem to stretch time, deform it and adapt it to my own needs... But I commit, I'm willing to make the effort because one way or another, I like to do those things.

But the truth is that time doesn't stretch like I'd like it to most of the times. Things that I thought would take a few minutes or hours don't take so little most of the times. And my body doesn't withstand the relentless pace I'd like it to work on most of the times. Like in the Simpsons movie "work, work! up, up! down, down! rest, rest!" while I flog my sleep deprived subconscience with a whip.

There are sayings in many languages to describe this state: "el que mucho abarca, poco aprieta", "to bite off more than one can chew", "avoir les yeux plus gros que le ventre"... You catch my drift. That's what happens to me sometimes. I try to do everything and I fall short, I fall asleep on the way, I beat myself while the pen falls from my hand. But I don't think I'll ever stop doing it. Most of the times the creative explosion is so huge my hand cannot be fast enough to write all the ideas that run through my brain. That surge is what keeps me going, what makes me hopeful that one day I'll be able to balance all my priorities and to stretch time like a chewing gum, limitless. That day I'll be invincible. That day I'll be in charge of all of my superpowers. That day I'll ride the wave and no one will get me down. In the meantime, I do what any other "hero" would do in my situation: I practice and practice to achieve mastery and utter understanding of my abilities to their full extent. I just hope Santa won't bring kriptonite for me.

NaBloPoMo day 3 - On time

There are days when you do a thousand things and still, when you arrive home at the end of the day, you feel like you've wasted your time. "I've spent a life in the subway", "the bus was so slow today", "I always get on the slow line at the store"... we all know those days.
However, I don't know why, but whenever I spend several hours at a bar with a good friend, I never feel like I've wasted my evening.

Antitechture

It's been a while since last time I saw such a nice ant nest... cool!

NaBloPoMo day 2 - On vocation and working

Via Nicole, today I've read something Jen Lee has posted and that has inspired me to write today's post.
I don't think I ever got to writing the post about how I got the job I have now and the effect it had over me. In my efforts to turn my life around its head and to get rid of all the negative things that were in it, meeting Mr. J. was like slamming the door on the face of bad things. He's helped me a lot and most of the times without even knowing he was. He's a very generous person and he has the biggest heart one can imagine, and the sheer fact of being in the same room as he is makes you feel like you could face anything sucessfully.
Well, so a couple of years ago I wanted to be the change I wanted to see in my world, and one of the things I needed to do so that could happen was to step outside of my comfort zone and watch my element with a little perspective (oh, my! I'm seeing how necessary all those posts I should have written here instead of in my ever present notebook were. I'll go back to that, ok?) After much instrospection and self-questioning, I reached the conclusion that my element was the same it always was: translation. The only problem was that I had lost perspective, joy and motivation as a result of all the things that were going on in my life. Translation is what I can do, it's what gives me confidence, and pleasure, and joy, and a thousand topics of conversation and discussion. It is what I've always wanted to do and I what I want to do always. It is the thing that I would still do when I won the lottery and had all the moneys in the world (who hasn't had that conversation about what would you do if you won the lottery and had all the money you would ever need?), for free. And what happens with your element once you go at it and, instead of squeezing it mercilessly, you encourage it and love it and let it grow, is that wonderful things start to happen. People who nurture your element start pouring into your life. Opportunities you never thought possible start to appear. And that's what happened to me.
Mr. J. found this job for me and the first few months were like working at Disneyland and your work is to ride on all the attractions. Everything was fun, new, intellectually energizing (I can't believe I just wrote that)... in one word: wonderful. I was surrounded by people who "got" what it was to be a translator, and suddenly I felt all the possibilities opening in front of me. For a long time it was like that. But that changed and it's been a while since I've felt ready to move on.
When I realised I was fed up with the office, I thought it was a pain, I felt somewhat lost and I didn't know what to do next. Now that I was moving to the States, what choices did I have? But I was looking at it all the wrong way. My experience (longer than a short period of time) in an office has been whatever, but above all, it's made me learn and grow. Now I have a better understanding of what I want, I have a clearer image of my dream company, and I can identify the things I have to avoid above all else. We can't always extract positive lessons of whatever we do, but sometimes they're good to define what we do NOT want. That is also a lesson; and a valuable one sometimes.
Now that I've understood all that, I realise how positive my experience here has been, and it even makes me a little sad to leave. I've always tried to do my best in my job, even when my spirits or my energies wouldn't let me concentrate on the task, and on the way I've learnt valuable lessons about human interaction. Not bad for a industrial engineering company, is it? Oh! And one more thing. May as it be, this company has uncovered the little scientist in this body of Humanities of mine... I'm a nerd! I still need some time for that to sink in.

NaBloPoMo

Today is November 7 and I was supposed to be on my seventh day of writing. Why? you may think. Well, because I signed up for the NaBloPoMo. And what is NaBloPoMo? It's the National Blog Posting Month. It's something someone in the States made up to urge people with blogs to write every day. There is a forum where people post prompts so you don't run out of ideas and inspiration in case your brains are all dried up from all the writing.
I like writing a lot and I'm full of ideas, but I haven't updated the blog in a long time because it is bilingual and I get tired as soon as I think I have to write everything twice. On the one hand, some of the posts should only be published in the language I thought them up, but then this would lose all the point I was trying to make in the first place, now wouldn't it? On the other hand, writing everything twice takes away part of the freshness and allure of having a genius idea and writing it down, the spontaneity, the innovation.
But this month I've decided to make the effort and get down to it. It is just a month, I keep telling myself. Although given this week of slacking off, it doesn't look like I started on the right foot, does it? But I'm here and even if I have to drag it out one week in December, I'm going to write every day for 30 days. I can't promise anything spectacular, I warn you, but I have to start somewhere, right? What's important is to create a habit first and then pouring over the creativity... more or less?
NaBloPoMo, here I come.

Granted

Just got out of there with my brand new visa. New life, there I go!

Moving

Today I started packing. My mind is on tetris mode, thinking about how he hell I'm going to fit everything in wherever I'm gonna have to fit it in.

Going back

Today's the day I go back. It's going to be a hard month.

Movement

Swift!

At the bus stop

Trying to see the sky

Way more boring than it looks

Depth

She who holds the power

That's one of the biggest sports papers in Spain.

Back home

Seattle airport, it's been a pleasure...

But I want to go home now. Thank you.

What happened, Alaska?

This was yesterday...

What happened, Alaska? (part II)

And this is today...

What the heck happened, Alaska?

Sunny Alaskan afternoon

It's being awesome here. We've seen so many animals and life-size postcard landscapes... it makes you feel small but you understand why those first brave ones came up here.

Lovelights

I went to one of my best friends' wedding this weekend. The love was definitely in the air. Even the candlelights danced a little.