lunes, noviembre 14, 2011

NaBloPoMo día 8 - Compromise, commitment

Warning: this post may look like an excuse but it's not. It is just a comment on the current state of things.

It is always the same. When I'm busiest it's when I feel most creative. I come up with a thousand projects, plots for stories, things to make, places to go to, pictures to take... but I have to set priorities. First there's what I must do, then what I like to do. I visualize how my day or my week is going to go and I always seem to stretch time, deform it and adapt it to my own needs... But I commit, I'm willing to make the effort because one way or another, I like to do those things.

But the truth is that time doesn't stretch like I'd like it to most of the times. Things that I thought would take a few minutes or hours don't take so little most of the times. And my body doesn't withstand the relentless pace I'd like it to work on most of the times. Like in the Simpsons movie "work, work! up, up! down, down! rest, rest!" while I flog my sleep deprived subconscience with a whip.

There are sayings in many languages to describe this state: "el que mucho abarca, poco aprieta", "to bite off more than one can chew", "avoir les yeux plus gros que le ventre"... You catch my drift. That's what happens to me sometimes. I try to do everything and I fall short, I fall asleep on the way, I beat myself while the pen falls from my hand. But I don't think I'll ever stop doing it. Most of the times the creative explosion is so huge my hand cannot be fast enough to write all the ideas that run through my brain. That surge is what keeps me going, what makes me hopeful that one day I'll be able to balance all my priorities and to stretch time like a chewing gum, limitless. That day I'll be invincible. That day I'll be in charge of all of my superpowers. That day I'll ride the wave and no one will get me down. In the meantime, I do what any other "hero" would do in my situation: I practice and practice to achieve mastery and utter understanding of my abilities to their full extent. I just hope Santa won't bring kriptonite for me.

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